The 12 Most Cliche Questions About Life (and my not so cliche answers)


1. If today were the last day of your life, what would you do? Honestly, I would sit on my ass, eat candy, and watch movies all day.

2. Where do you see yourself in five years? Five years older…idiot..

3. What have you learned from your mistakes? I’ve learned to not throw watermelon at cars, not stay out past curfew, and not to say the f-word in public

4. How do you want to be remembered? As the guy that always smelled really good

5. What’s going to make me happy? A tub full of chocolate pudding

6. What’s one thing you’d like to change about the world? First, I would make every side walk a conveyor belt for obvious reasons. Then I would make sequins illegal to wear (violators will be tarred and sequined). Finally I would probably solve world hunger or create world peace cause, I mean, who wouldn’t like that.

Shit that was more than one thing…

7. What’s one thing you’d like to change about yourself? I would finally have my tail surgically removed

Yes, I was born with a small tail…

…just kidding I absolutely don’t have a tail

8. What makes you special? Uhmmm…my tail

9. What would you do with a million dollars? Invest in the shoelace business

10. What’s holding you back? Well I don’t exactly have a million dollars so I can fulfill my dream of being a shoelace tycoon now do I?

11. Do you live in the moment, or do you live in the future? Yes

12. What do you want to do with your life? I don’t freakin know an if you ask me one more time you’re gonna walk away with a limp…

Do you hear the same questions all the time? Do they make your brain bubble with frustration? Do you wish you could answer all of them with masterful smart-assery?

Let me know. I’d be delighted to hear what you have to say

End Kwote

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