So there were a few typos and errors in my blog post yesterday. I know, you’re all thinking that I’m a crummy writer. But I just wanted to clear the air, to remove any feelings of negativity or doubt that you may have about my writing. So I’m writing a post about why I am in fact a good writer. And trust me, I write good.
First I would like to discuss the comma. Only idiots don’t know how to use a comma and I’m certainly not an idiot. All you have to remember is put a comma after a coordinating conjunction (FANBOY, duh) that separates two complete sentences so it’s really easy. In fact I know how to use the comma so good that I’ve never ever made an error with a comma once in my life and that’s the truth.
Actually I’ve always known how to use commas. No one even needed to teach me. Using commas to set apart non-essential information the stuff that doesn’t really need to be in the sentence is a cinch for me. When it comes to commas with introductory elements I’m also a master. There really aren’t any ways to use a comma that I haven’t perfected. Using commas something that every should know how to do is just common sense. I could talk about the different ways to use commas all day but I won’t cause I don’t wana bore you. But if one thing is clear it’s that I’m a comm master. If you can’t use a comma then you should probably just stop writing.
Next up is the use of apostrophes. Again, any writer worth it’s grain in salt knows how to properly apply a apostrophe. The rules are very simple but Ill state them so you know that I know what I’m talking about.
Someones writing has apostrophes when its trying show possession. All you have to do is put an apostrophe then an “s” on the end of the word that has possession of something. This way its clear to the reader what belongs to who. Though this may seem easy, students’s writing often contains errors when they try to show plural possession. Like when something belongs to more than one person. Its a little bit tough, but if you know anything about writing then its not hard at all.
The difference between “its” and “it’s”? The worst writers of all time don’t know when to use “its” or “it’s”. Thank God I’m not one of them.
Last and certanly not least, I would like to talk about something that is absent from my writing almost 100% of the time. Im talking about the small mistakes that people make, the little typoes that appear in your writing. I rarely if ever mispell a word or forgot to use an apostrophe to form a contraction or use the wrong word. I don’t ever forget put words in a sentence either. Forgetting words makes it impossible for the reader to understand you so I never make that mistake.
However, many writers do make these mistakes. I have only one thing to say about them. Their stupid. Their incredibly, uterly stupid. Thats why I’m writing this post. To seperate myself from those people who have absolutely no clue how to write anything in a clear and coherent manor.
I believe that my reputation as a perfect writer is restored. If you would like to ask me any questions about writing please don’t hesitate. I’m sure I have an answer. And if you’re really courageous, try and find any mistakes in this post. Go ahead and try. I dare you.
…just kidding, Not End Kwote…
I hope that you don’t think that I actually write like that. Really, I don’t. I wrote this post to make fun of myself. Because if you can’t laugh at yourself, you have a pretty poor sense of humor.
I wrote what I thought was a pretty funny piece yesterday. In my ignorant, pride-filled haste to publish my post, I did a terrible job of checking my work. As a result, I made a couple of unbelievable mistakes. It wouldn’t have been so bad if various people wouldn’t have pointed them out. But, of course, they did. I felt like a stupid, know-nothing, boneheaded rookie.
However, it doesn’t do any good to dwell on the blemishes of the past. All I can do now is laugh at what an idiot I’ve been. After I’m done laughing (which may be a while), I’ll look back on my mistakes, and try to improve. I’ll learn from the stupid things that I’ve done and try my best to never do them again. As writers, that’s all we can do.
I hope you enjoyed this horrendous post, and I hope you got a few laughs out of the ridiculous mistakes that I’ve made in the past.
Write a lot, but proofread more.