Twenty Snappy Love Similes



It’s Valentine’s Day. The holiday where sickeningly adorable couples exchange heart-shaped boxes of candy and sour scrooges damn Hallmark for making lovey dovey greeting cards. A fine celebration indeed.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d tell you all what I think about love. It’s a bit hard to describe, though. I don’t know if I could write a whole post clearly expressing my thoughts on topic.

That’s why I’ve created this list of the 20 snappiest love similes of all time. What better way to express my feelings than some expertly crafted figurative language?

So sit back, grab a pink lollipop, and enjoy.


Love is like a cell phone; it works sometimes.

Love is like a cup of coffee; dark and bitter

Love is like a banana; it has brown spots and you can peel it

Love is like a clock; it makes ticking noises like a bomb

Love is like a glass of spilt milk; you can clean it up, but it leaves a funny smell

Love is like a cactus; it’s prickly, but inviting

Love is like a refrigerator; it makes things cold

Love is like a radish; the color is pretty but it tastes like poo

Love is like a thumb tack; it hurts like hell if you get stabbed with it

Love is like hand sanitizer; you have to go to the hospital if you get it in your eye

Love is like a fire hydrant; it’s often peed on by canines

Love is like an undershirt; it soaks up all your armpit sweat

Love is like a fire; it keeps you warm….and can burn off your skin

Love is like a crayon; it’s waxy and ineffective

Love is like a Miley Cyrus; everyone loves to hate it

Love is like a ham sandwich; you don’t wana eat it, but you will if you have to

Love is like a sand; it’s annoying if you get it in your shoe

Love is like an umbrella; no matter how hard you try, you look like a fool using it

Love is like a frisbee; it’s hard to throw well

Love is like rat; it’s kinda cute but it more than likely has a disease

Well there you have it. I hope you enjoy this fine celebration. Eat lots of chocolate and daydream about love. Maybe you could come up with some love similes of your own. And if you do that, you could certainly share them with me. I’d be delighted to hear them.

Happy Valentine’s Day

End Kwote

5 thoughts on “Twenty Snappy Love Similes

  1. Oh, I love all of these.

    I am drawing a blank, best I can come up with is:

    Love is like a slurpee, it gives you a major brain freeze.

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