A Kick in the Nuts

Humorous, Inspirational, Life

Stress is like a friend who kicks you in the nuts: it comes quickly, does terrible damage, and escapes before you can do anything about it.

Stress. If I had to pick one force that impacts us humans more than anything, it’d be stress. It rules us like a king with no regard for his lowly peasants. It’s like a boss who makes you work every Saturday, or like a teacher who gives you a cumulative final exam (bastards..). It sneaks into our lives, kicks us in the gonads, cackles in our faces, and runs away with a sly smile on its face.

It’s a terrible thing, really. It makes our brains go fuzzy and our eyeballs turn red. When you’re stressed, everything’s harder. You can’t think, you’re tired, and you’re grumpy. Stress turns you into nasty monsters with grey skin, fish breath, and ram horns.

Really, it’s true. Don’t believe me? Well then how do you explain this picture that I found when I googled “stress monster”?

That’s what I thought.

Stress is no fun. I think we can all agree with that. It’s easy to let stress rule our lives or break us down. It can make us unable to do the things that we should be doing (running, jumping, trumpet playing, scuba diving, cattle ranching, uni-cycling, things of that nature).

If you read my blog on a semi-regular basis (I hope there are a few of you), you may have noticed that I’ve been slacking these past few weeks. Though you may have thought that I was just being lazy, there’s a legitimate reason that I haven’t been writing. I’ve been ridonkulously busy. I know, that’s a terrible excuse. Everyone’s busy. It’s nothing new.

But when I say I was busy, I mean I had about twenty minutes of free time a day for the past two weeks. I was busy like I’d never been busy before. Anything that I do for leisure had to be cleaved from my newly jam-packed schedule.

I won’t go into immense detail, but trust me when I say that I beyond overloaded. I had homework to do, exams to study for, meetings to attend, and all this stuff to do for a job that I recently acquired. As you can imagine, it wasn’t easy to handle. It was, well, stressful.

There were definitely a couple of moments I thought I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I’d taken too big of a bite, and then shoveled in ten more forkfuls. I was overwhelmed, to say the least.

But through it all, I did my best to keep my head. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, and once I got through it, I could breath a sigh riddled with relief.

It did end eventually. And once it was over, I felt different. Initially, it was just exhaustion. But once I got over that, I felt something else: strength.

I felt like I had just packed on ten pounds of invisible muscle. I breathed stronger. My brain felt like it had grown two sizes. My voice was more full, and it resonated when I spoke. I had all this excess energy. I felt great. It sounds kind of strange and egotistical, but I felt invincible.

Looking back, it makes sense. I got over a pretty big hump. I was bogged down with stress, but I got through it. While all this stuff was going on, I was definitely hurting. But my metaphorical wounds healed, and my skin grew back stronger. The stress helped me get to a place that I couldn’t have gotten to otherwise. The stress made me stronger.

That’s the message of this post; stress isn’t any fun, but if you get through it, it makes you stronger.

It’s a lot like lifting weights. It hurts while you’re doing it, and it even hurts after you’re done. But when you’re done being sore, your muscles grow bigger and stronger. You can run faster and lift heavier weights. You can do things that you couldn’t do before. Without that initial difficulty, you wouldn’t have gotten there. You have to take a little pain to get some gain (like that tasty rhyme?).

So when you’re stressed, don’t wig out. Take a few deep breaths, drink a nice cup of lemon tea, and tell yourself that it’ll be over soon. Tell yourself that it can’t last forever, and that when it does end, you’ll be a better person because of it.You’ll be a stronger person because of it. You’ll feel like there’s nothing that can stop you, like there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. Beat the stress, and you can take on the world.

Don’t let stress rule you. Embrace it. Defeat it. And when you do defeat it, give it a swift kick in the nuts and spit in its face. It deserves it.

End Kwote

On a quite different tangent, you might be saying to yourself, “It’s Tuesday Tuneday. Where in the name of Zeus is my damn tune?!” Worry not, kimosabi. I’ll do my best to record a song and post it post-haste.

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