The Lucky Pineapple

Humorous, Life

“Superstition is the poetry of life.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Are you superstitious? Do you do any weird stuff or keep any strange things because you think that they’ll give you good luck? Well, if you don’t, that’s ok, because I’m superstitious enough for the both of us. I’m actually superstitious enough for like ten people, but that’s beside the point.

The point is that I do some weird things because I think they affect the outcome of my day-to-day life. My superstitions are a source of comfort. I think all the nonsensical stuff that I do allows me to be successful. Actually, I don’t think they do, I know they do.

There’s one particular thing that I do that sticks out in my head as bein just a little bit weirder than all the rest. I keep a pineapple under my bed. Yes, a pineapple. Not a real one, though. It’s a pineapple candle. There it is, right there

My mom gave me this pineapple candle when I was about fourteen years old. I had it in my room all throughout high school, and I always though it was really cool. It was just a cool trinket, something that said, “Yeah, I’m a chill dude.”. I mean, who wouldn’t like a pineapple candle? An asshole, that’s who.

So, when it came time for me to go to college, I brought my pineapple candle along for the ride. It would be a conversation starter, I thought.

Alas, we weren’t allowed to have candles in our rooms. They’re what people like to call “fire hazards”. The people in charge told me this when I moved in, so I had to find someplace to hide my pineapple or else it would be confiscated. Under my bed seemed like the best place to me, so under it went.

I had a good first year at college. I made some friends, had a good time, and made good grades. I was fortunate, I told myself, to have had such a good year. Why did I have such a good year? Why was I so fortunate? Take a wild guess. That’s right. It was the pineapple.

Of course, I know that having a good year at school wasn’t all thanks to my pineapple. I know that, for the most part, the year was good because of the people I had met and the things that I had done. But, in the back of my mind, I can’t help but feel that the pineapple had something to do with it.

I mean, it did have something to do with it.

Another college year has begun, and my pineapple is right where it should be. Under my bed, making sure I get through all of the trails and tribulations of university life. So far, so good. Everything’s been going well. I’m having a good time, doing well in my classes, and meeting more cool, new people. The pineapple is working its magic yet again.

I do a lot of other things, too. I use the same pen for tests, I arrange the tacks on my cork board in a very specific pattern, I’m a strict adherent to the “knock on wood” policy, I have a strange obsession with the number four, I’m very hesitant to change my shoelaces, I don’t chew gum before sporting events, the list goes on. I do all these things because I think that someway, somehow, they make my life a little bit better.

What’s your take on superstition? Are you superstitious? Do you have any weird habits? A pineapple candle, perhaps? Let me know. I’d be interested to hear if there are other weirdos out there like me.

End Kwote