At the cores of our hearts, there is one truth that connects us;

We all need to escape.

Our lives. Our beliefs. Our homes. We all have something we need to get away from, to leave behind, if only briefly. There’s something, however small or large, that’s holding us back. That’s keeping us from turning over new stones and peering around new corners. That’s putting its hands over our ears when we’re listening to new music. That’s planting its feet firmly in front of us when we’re trying to walk out the door.

The Top 10 Worst Halloween Costumes Ever


Well, tis Halloween. And you know what that means. Ladies wearing kitty costumes that consist mainly of a pair of cat ears and gentlemen sporting their best gag garb. I guess there’s some candy involved, too. At least that’s what I hear.

It is a lovely holiday, indeed.

As an active member of the interweb community, an article that I see a lot of is “Top Halloween Costumes for This Year.” Yes, I know, Miley Cyrus and the members of the Duck Dynasty family are very fashionable for this trick-or-treat season. I’ve seen all of the popular costume ideas for this year plenty of times.

But, one thing that I haven’t seen is the worst costume ideas for this horrifying holiday. So, I decided to provide all you ghosts and ghouls with my list of the top ten worst Halloween costumes.

These are arranged from least amount of terribleness to most amount of terribleness.

Here we go…

10. Baby. If you want to be that guy standing in the corner alone at a Halloween party, by all means, dress up like this fool.

9. Clown. Ironically enough, there isn’t anything less funny than dressing up as a clown.

8. Cell Phone. “Hey, what’s the least imaginative thing that I can dress up as? Ohh I know!!” Haha the fact that it prompts you to insert your own picture is priceless

7. Sexy Corn. And so we broach a whole new category of Halloween get-ups. The sexy costumes. Small piece of advice: if you’re trying to be sexy, a vegetable may not be the way to go.

6. Sexy Bacon. Yet another sad attempt at attractiveness. I love bacon as much as the next macho-man, but dressing up as this meaty delicacy isn’t exactly a turn on. Sorry, but I don’t really go for girls that look like chunks of raw meat

5. Calculator. A more boring costume doesn’t exist. Trust me, I looked. Whoever wears this outfit is getting a bag full of candy corn…and if you like candy corn that’s a whole other issue

4. Dog Hooker. Yet another branch of Halloween dress-uppery. Dog costumes. I’m not against the idea in general, but dressing your dog up to make a couple extra bucks working the corner isn’t one that I’d really go for.

3. The Human Centipede. I’m throwing up in my mouth right now as I type out this sentence. Shame on the disgusting bastard who ever thought of this…shame…

2. This Guy. Like…what…

1. Hitler. Atop any list of horrible Halloween outfits should be this idiot. If I ever see you dressed up as Hitler for any occasion, I’m gonna stab you with whatever’s readily available. Worst Halloween costume idea…ever

And thus ends this years countdown of the very worst Halloween costume ideas. I hope you enjoyed perusing these repugnant disguises.

For your sake and mine, don’t dress up like any of these things

Have a happy Halloween!

End Kwote